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February 21, 2003
laws advice a fore isms
nothing gets posted to a blog when your insanely busy or intensely bored.
the nature of all computer programs tends towards databases (all programs expand to include database functionality.)
if it's truely usefull, it's a commodity item, and marketing wisdom states "no one gets rich selling commodities," so your being overcharged for it. the producers then whine about early adopter saturation and slow market penetration, when the truth is it's too expensive. it takes years for reality to set in, and freemarket forces (hah!) to correct. (marketting wisdom keeps forgetting the gillette company and the bic pen company)
any sufficently brilliant user interface design will be mistaken for great marketing.
marketing and engineering knows there is nothing new under the sun. marketers repackage the same old shit, and engineers stand on the shoulders of those who have went first (innovate.) sometimes.
always check to see if the user is plugged in first, then procede with testing.
never start counting months on your fingers upon being told an ex girlfriend is pregnant. especially if you last went out with her over 20 years ago.
never use parts from your own computer to fix a clients computer. the client always gets the better of the deal because your without a computer.
MS windows virus can be effectively removed with linux. and they never come back.
never put anything called norton on a macintosh. ever.
blogs can get you in BIG trouble.
sturgeons law applies to blogs, especially this one.
setting up or debugging windows is tedious, time consuming and frustrating. you can never figure out why someone woulld do it that way and it never works the way you want it too. setting up or debugging free unixi is tedious, time consuming and frustrating. it never works the way you want it to initially, and you always have to download and try more software packages. but you have to oppurtunity to rewrite it, and make others frustrated and shaking their heads in dissbelief at the way you set things up...
the ffej laws of system administration:
system administration is a religious advocation.
you are only as good as your information.
if the admin is asleep, s/he's dead.
users are why there are admins.
users are the bane of admins.
larting is th last resort. have a new job, bail, and a lawyer lined up first.
you can't be a partially pregnant: your machine can't be partially admin'd.
system administration is a more complex computer game then anything sold on teh market (it includes elements or role based turn based and real time strategy games, simulations, puzzle games, pattern recognition games, platform games, cellular automata, gentic alogolrythym research, sex, and first person shooters. advanced versions of sys admin include team based play, network play, and postoffice.
dumb users cause less damage then smart users.
smart users who admin their machines get fired for lack of productivity, or become admins.
Posted by parody at February 21, 2003 02:37 PM
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Comments
Boyle's Law:
A nod is as good as a wink,
but you can't make it drink.
Posted by: Jerry at February 21, 2003 02:48 PM
Cole's Law: Finely chopped cabbage.
Posted by: Buffy at February 21, 2003 05:06 PM
Boyle's law is PV = kT, where
P is pressure
V is volume
T is temperature
k is constant.
Posted by: Dr. Charles at February 21, 2003 09:03 PM
using buffy's name in vain tsk tsk
You do shit
it gets done
and then you die
Posted by: Oakey at February 21, 2003 11:20 PM
Max's law-Bush starts the Third World War over oil, and I drive around the Australian Outback in the post apocalyptic aftemath wearing black leather and killing people. C'mon Bush! Now wears my VIP Intercepter?
Posted by: Max at February 22, 2003 08:52 PM
HBDTM
Posted by: Ben at February 23, 2003 02:53 PM
stealthy!
flew right under my radar...
Posted by: ffej at February 24, 2003 02:46 PM